The idea that we planned our life circumstances and experiences before we came to Earth totally changed my perception of life.
Some of the struggles and difficult life events that had occurred to me as a child, and while growing up, started to make more sense.
There are two ways to see everything we go through; one as if every event is chaotic and random, and another as if they are not.
Please note, you will get more background and understand this post better if you read first What I Have Learned About Our Souls and the Universe and Reincarnation: The 7 Stages of Birth and Death.
I have learned that at some point between our reincarnations, our soul will attend a “planning session,” where it decides that coming to Earth is the ideal way forward to keep progressing on its evolution.
When we are not incarnated, we have the wisdom of the whole and we fully understand the implications of what we plan, especially when we give ourselves a seemingly difficult life.
Depending on the level of evolution of the soul, this planning session might be very straightforward or very complicated.
Each soul creates the life path that offers the best possibility for experiencing the emotions it seeks to understand and make peace with.
We don’t always plan difficult lives, but our soul knows that with difficult assignments we will accelerate our growth and we will achieve our karmic goals faster. However, we will never set up unachievable goals or take on more than we can handle.
Please note we also create with our actions and decisions on Earth. I explain this in full in this post.
Before coming to Earth we make every choice with our highest interests in mind:
• We choose our timeframe in history, including location and exact date and time of day that we will be born.
• We choose our name, which will assist our soul’s learning. The name is given by the soul to the mother and/or father telepathically.
On rare occasions the parents might choose not to listen.
• We choose our parents, immediate family, and close friends (including our socio-economic class), and significant romantic and business partners.
We often choose to reincarnate with the same family members (or group) but in different roles. A soul that was a sibling in a past life could be our daughter or father in this one.
• We choose if we will be adopted or be naturally born to our mother.
There are various reasons why a soul might choose to come to Earth via adoptive parents.
For example, the adoptive mother might know that her body will not be able to conceive, and requests a family soul member to be her adopted child in her next lifetime. The adopted child’s soul might want to experience adoption or be of assistance to her soul.
In most cases, not having blood ties doesn’t make the bond any weaker for they are still part of the same soul family.
• Within our family, we choose lineage intent. What that means is that we choose a family that will support our intent; for example, being born to a family with many generations of doctors if we wish to be one.
Or quite the opposite, we choose a family that will not support our intent because one of our primary life lessons is to stand up for ourselves and fight for who we want to become.
• We choose our gender and sexual orientation.
Our soul is androgynous; it is probable that we will all choose to be either sex, man or woman, or gay or lesbian, at some point through our many reincarnations, because we learn the most through duality and experiencing both sides of the spectrum.
• We choose our physical attributes.
The soul knows the health of the baby in the uterus. If the baby’s health, or lack of, won’t serve the souls purpose, then the soul will not choose that body and will choose another one.
This includes genetic issues – being born with Down’s syndrome or cystic fibrosis – or propensity issues, being thin or fat, having headaches, etc.
• We choose the main aspects we want to work on, such as tolerance, patience, poverty or wealth (in some cases, both poverty and wealth in the same lifetime), self-respect, or coping as a single parent.
The Law of Balance and Polarity says that we are always seeking balance, and for that reason we experience opposites in order to learn from them.
Some people are extremely wealthy or poor, generous or greedy, loving or unloving.
By experiencing opposite sides of a spectrum over many lifetimes we aim at finding the perfect balance.
Understanding this law and putting it into practice means that we can look inwardly to what aspects we think we are off balance and try to rectify them.
• In most cases we build some adversity into the life plan, along with the tools and people to assist and teach us.
It is through our life challenges, and how well or badly we handle them, that our soul has decided to evolve.
We will not have experiences that don’t contribute to our knowledge and have not been agreed upon us.
Lessons that have been learned in the past will not be presented again.
Planning our lessons and adversities doesn’t mean we are destined to experience all the fear and pain they might cause; suffering is not strictly necessary because we also planned the solution (in the form of mentors, understanding how to use our intuition, books, and knowledge).
I think this is the reason we are seeing so many more spiritual and self-help books in the market, and why doctors such as Dr. Weiss and Dr. Newton are finding and releasing information about our pre-life choices (please see recommended books at the end of this post).
Although we will always have free will, we can also start having a deeper understanding of who we really are, how to take responsibility, and how to live a more joyous and fulfilling life.
Instead of becoming suffocated by our circumstances, with this understanding we can heal and transform our challenges.
- We will make agreements with other souls who will help us master the main aspects we are going to work on.
For example, our future partner might agree to leave us if we want to understand the challenge of coping as a single parent. He or she might also leave for a myriad of other reasons. We knew the potentials of everything we have gone through so far.
• We will also understand how major life events that we can’t change are going to affect us; for example, the death of our parents or a close friend, or other events that will come at some point in our life.
When they die, that is the perfect timing for their chosen path, and there is nothing we can do about it.
But how we handle the situation is up to us.
• Our soul decides how much karma it will create and how much it will balance and release.
Our soul will make arrangements with the other souls involved in order to achieve this.
We also have free will, so we can choose to balance and release much more or less karma than we originally planned. I explain the spiritual law of karma, other laws of the universe and much more in this post: 20 Proven Tools to Manifest Your Dreams Fast.
• Last but not least, we define a number of exit points for when we will leave our human body, and when these points come up we will choose whether we wish to take them or not.
Sometimes we plan our death to bring great blessings to the world or to make some kind of statement.
Examples of choices and agreements
Our souls plan painful experiences because in a broader sense our soul is unafraid of any challenge.
We know that we can’t get hurt because we are eternal and there is nothing that can happen that could threaten our soul.
We know that our potential painful experiences will assist our soul’s evolution and understanding in life.
Sometimes we also want to balance and release karma.
As difficult as it might seem, all our experiences have a purpose and we have created them, either through pre-birth choice or while on Earth; otherwise, they wouldn’t exist.
Nothing will come to you that is not meant to be.
The following are some exmaples of pre-birth choices and agreements. You can find many more in the books I recommend at the end of this post.
The option of suicide is sometimes contemplated as a way out in the pre-life planning session.
The same way we run away from problems on Earth physically, like moving away to another city or country, or drinking or eating too much to alter our state of consciousness, sometimes we also choose an early exit from Earth.
This is not good or bad; it is just another lesson that the soul wants to master on Earth.
Suicide is one of the many challenges that we bring with us throughout our lifetimes.
In some instances, the soul knows it always choses an early exit as a way to overcome its challenges, and repeatedly wants to put itself in the same situation, until it chooses not to commit suicide again.
The soul doesn’t have to agree to anything in a planning session.
Sometimes, the guides suggest easier and softer lifetimes to handle a specific issue; but the soul, because it wants to grow quickly, chooses a very difficult life again. The soul wishes to put behind a pattern he doesn’t like; in this case, suicide.
On a soul level we understand that the afterlife is all there is, and will always be there.
Suicide is by no means failure.
Although it might seem that the soul didn’t achieve the lesson it wanted to overcome, there are instances where the soul makes an agreement with his family members to die that way because of the huge amount of shock and guilt that will leave behind (he could have chosen a car accident, but didn’t.)
This is particularly relevant in the cases when a soul decides to incarnate in a physical body with a propensity to experience mental health issues.
This health condition makes the option of suicide a logical path since the human body doesn’t have adequate reasoning skills, and does not fully understand the consequences of his actions.
The soul is helping soul family members with their own lessons.
The definition of suicide is “the act of intentionally causing one’s own death,” but we always choose when and how we die. Therefore, we could say that we always commit suicide.
The issue is that the term suicide refers to an obvious, self-inflicted way of terminating our lives, for everybody to see and experience the consequences.
Any other way of dying is also suicide (because we intentionally decide to leave), but we will call it an illness, an accident, or old age.
No human being will ever die without the agreement of its higher self.
If the soul is not ready to leave Earth, then the physical body won’t die.
No death is ever wasted; nobody dies “in vain.”
2. Losing children
I have learned there are many reasons why some souls choose a short lifetime.
This is always done with the absolute love and agreement of all parties.
From the point of view of the thousands of lives we experience, dying while the human body is young is not viewed by the soul as a tragedy; the tragedy is on Earth because the family members who are left behind can’t see their child’s higher purpose and his or her next circle of reincarnation at that time.
Our souls are indestructible and wise, and we know what we are doing, even when it doesn’t seem that way.
A common theme across all the books I have read on the subject is that babies and children (young and adult) die for a variety of reasons:
- To fulfill a contract with their mother or father (or both). Sometimes these children come with no karma and they agreed to come to their birth mother, and father (extending in some cases to many surrounding relatives) to assist them in their growth and evolution.
For example, to help them put their lives into perspective and focus on what is really important.
I have read many cases where the opposite happens: Both parents, or else just the mother or just the father, die young to follow a contract with their children; those children wish to experience growing on Earth without a parent or parents.
- To bring light and love to the area. When a child is sick, many uplifting prayers are sent to that child, house, and area. The child knows that. He also knows he can come back quickly if he wishes to do so.
- To assist a family member to embark on his or her life purpose. The sibling, cousin, parent, or family member might choose to become a doctor to find a cure for whatever illness the child died of, or to create a charity to help many other families in similar circumstances.
- To experience being in a womb and on Earth for a while.
- To be born in a healthier body. The soul realizes that the physical body of the baby is not growing or developing in the intended way, and it won’t serve the soul’s higher purpose; therefore, it chooses to leave.
The soul will likely come back to the same parents later, waiting for the right circumstances to attach to a new pregnancy.
Robert Schwartz provides in his website a 32 page article explaining the story of Valerie, who lost her only child and her fiancée in separate incidents.
Valerie planned to go through both experiences before she incarnated.
You can also read her story (and others) in Schwartz’s amazing book Your Soul’s Plan.
3. Bump contracts
A person agrees to intersect at a moment in our life to check how we are doing and if we are following the path we set ourselves prior to birth.
Sometimes we get distracted, or simply lost, or too depressed.
These contracts often come with great intensity and leave a great mark in our lives; a short-term lover or a helpful friend who gives us the best advice we ever needed.
It isn’t always traumatic; but the experience will give us the opportunity to get back on the path we were supposed to be on (although we might not take it).
4. Transition contracts
We made agreements with the souls of people who will help us cross over.
This could be a nurse or a family member.
5. Altruistic lives
This refers to lives planned solely to assist other human beings, a situation, and/or the earth.
For example, dying at birth in a hospital that has questionable practices, or being born a girl in a country where she will be killed for not being a boy.
The soul might have chosen that life to raise awareness.
6. Choices made depending on soul evolution
Some very young souls come to Earth only for a brief period of time to experience life in a human body.
In these cases, the soul might just choose a short life in a developing country and there is no more planning involved. Or an evolved soul that has had thousands of lives on Earth might only have a few lessons left to learn.
If the soul chooses a longer life, the planning is much more complicated as there are only specific places, types of parents, times of the year, and many other attributes that would meet all of the soul’s pre-birth requirements.
7. Contracts with pets
Schwartz shares the story of Marcia, who chose before coming into her body to be a dwarf. In this lifetime Marcia is but 1.4 meters (less than 5 feet) tall.
Marcia knew before she was born that people would reject and dismiss her because of her height, so she built into her plan a safeguard: she would always have the unconditional love of her pets.
There are countless other agreements and lessons, like experiencing mental illness, parenting handicapped children, or being born with a disability, sexuality issues, drug addiction, anger management, and as many other challenges as you are able to think of.
Please see the recommended reading section at the end of this blog post if you wish to read more about pre-birth life choices and agreements.
We continue to make contracts once incarnated
Once reincarnated on Earth, we are subject to the spiritual laws of the universe.
We create by following these laws, consciously or unconsciously, but we can also still make agreements with other souls in our sleep.
I also want to point out that we create a lot of our current challenges by not using our intuition and our better judgement.
That is, we might not have planned a specific car accident, but if we continue to drink and drive that could be a natural consequence of our poor choices.
I have explained how the Law of Attraction, the Law of Karma and other Spiritual Laws work to create our reality in this post: 20 Proven Tools Manifest Faster. A thorough understanding of Spiritual Laws is vital to attract what we want from life.
To close out this blog post, I’m recommending below what I perceive to be the best books should you wish to expand your knowledge about pre-birth life choices and agreements, but I have not found one single book that deals with one issue only.
Also, please check out this great blog post by Mark Pitstick called Pre-birth Planning.
All the books that I have read cover a range of agreements and lessons. For reference, if relevant I have added their table of contents:
Your Soul’s Gift, by Robert Schwartz
Table of contents: Healing, spiritual awakening, miscarriage and abortion, caregiving, pets, abusive relationships, sexuality, incest, adoption, poverty, suicide, rape, and mental illness.
Related to this post you might enjoy reading:
What did you think? Do you have any questions?
Please let me know in the comments below